How Not To Do Deadlines

I have a weird relationship with deadlines. And yet one I'm willing to wager a lot of people share.

Take yesterday, for example. The deadline for the SRA entry was 5pm. I've had since May (actually probably somewhat longer) to sort this out and yet it came right up to the line - and I mean literally within seconds of the deadline.

It had been on my mind for weeks, months even, but the real work didn't even start until about a few days ago. Then I worked almost solidly for two days and got in by the skin
of
my
teeth.

Oh yeah, and it's a pattern.

Sound familiar?
I hope so.

Well I was thinking about this. Why does this happen. Is it a motivation problem? Am I scared of completing it lest it unleash some horrible demon? Am I just a rubbish person? No.

The problem is that I focus on the deadline as being part of the work period; I naturally "plan" in my head to have the work done on the day it's due. Maybe I start early, but the work I do is minor and only increases to a significant amount when the final date starts to approach.

The solution is to practice disassociating the deadline from the work, and creating my own personal deadline. And stick to it. This is another one of those things that's easier said than done, I know.

But not impossible.



Any thoughts on this? Have you had similar problems that you've tried to overcome? Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this.

Untitled #2

The SRA awards. Awards for student radio stations. For those of you who don't know, I spent the past two years working with Surge in Southampton.

This one last thing I'm doing for them is putting together their entry for Station of the Year award. And, as with every task or project like this for the past three years (and probably more), I have left it until the very last minute.

Patterns, eh?

Don't ask me why it's like this. It is something I really want to do. Maybe I don't want to do the hard work associated with it, maybe I'm scared of doing a bad job and letting down the station. Maybe finishing this entry signifies me cutting the last link to the best year of my life, or finishing it means I have to actually get on with job hunting (oh, the job hunting!).

And the deadline is about three days away. Looks like another issue I'm going to have to bulldoze through for now.

Another thing that's come up in all this is my inability to say "no". For some reason I've taken it upon myself to coordinate the whole of the station on the creation of individual entries for Best Show, Best DJ, etc. and am now offering help and critique to the people entering these awards. Not that I don't want to be helpful, it's just that it puts unnecessary stress onto me. Actually I have some ideas on this but it's going to take some more thinking.

Not that life is bad or anything. Just a little bit hectic. Feeling resistance that I'd rather not feel.

Elsewhere in the news

I have ordered the Shiva Nata starter kit from the lovely Havi... I'll let you know how that goes.

Don't judge.

And finally, I have been writing this post from The Bottom Of The Airing Cupboard and it has been amazingly easy to concentrate, if a little cramped.

And That's How.. For Now!

Isn't It Strange

Lately my life has been feeling congested, for lack of a better word. Back from uni, living under my Dad's roof. Job hunting. Oh, the job hunting.

Hiding myself in the bottom of the airing cupboard today, cocooned in duvets and darkness with sheets of light creeping in around the door, I tried some more faux meditation.

And the answer that came to me said that I was spreading myself too thinly. Thinking about too many things at the same time. There are the SRA awards, job hunting (oh, the job hunting), starting a club, starting a website, starting a radio station, getting into journalism and/or production, and all the other little rocks that like to litter themselves around my days.

So the plan is to focus on one thing at a time, SRA entry first. Then the other stuff. And also stuff I've not even been thinking about recently:

• The hundred things project
  
• Finding my own place
  
• Making music
  

And as well as that I'm starting regular blog posts to see if blog therapy gets me anywhere.

So... see you later?

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life

Argh, I feel awful. And it's one of those awfuls where I don't actually know why.
Maybe I'm working myself too hard.
Maybe I'm fed up of living in this house with these people.
Probably I'm just angry at myself.

Last night there was a party at a friend's house. The housemates went and had fun (and got back at three in the morning and woke me up). I didn't go because I only knew one person who was there (my housemates didn't say they were going, I just came downstairs to find that they'd gone).
And yeah, they had loads of fun and it sounds like it was an amazing evening with juggling and poi and skating and allsorts. And what did I do? Stayed in and did "work".

And this is something I've been doing a lot, avoiding social situations so I can stay in and do work then end up not actually working. Just another pattern I have to try and break.

One of the other things I'm feeling at the moment is that I'm not really as independant as I thought, and that I depend on my housemates for too much and probably take loads of stuff they do for granded.

I don't know how I'm going to solve this situation.
Maybe I'll just take the day off.

These Monsters of Mine

Monsters. Again. I know, I know.
But there are just so many of them.

I guess the most relevant one right now is Inability to Revise. I have to get seriously stressed out, right up to the line, before I start being at all conscientious about revising. I've had three exams in the past week and they've all been pretty poor, so there is a chance I've failed my degree.

Really, I shouldn't care about failing the degree. But I do, because another monster of mine is Caring About Other People's Expectations. If I get a degree it will be a physics degree - but I want to go into a life and career of music. But because my family expect me to pass, I feel like I would be letting them down if I didn't. And it hurts.

So what is going to happen after the exams then? After the vacation? I have plans, albeit very rough ones.

First of all I need a job, and god knows where that's going to come from (I have never been very good at applying for jobs (I have monsters to do with my CV)). But along with that I'd love to carry on with this Live Music malarky, because it's such good fun and I've still got so much to learn. And I want to turn that into something that can support me eventually. And then who knows what?

I know the first step in sorting myself out is meeting myself where I am. I am having trouble with revising, and that's okay. There are reasons for it; perfectly good reasons. Same goes with everything else. And where I am right now is right for me - it's all about learning and making habits, changing bad patterns.

Wow, this has been a difficult post to write. But I'm feeling a bit better about things now.

Well ciao for now.

Friday Check-In

Because I totally have an e-crush on Havi Brooks. And because all the cool kids are doing it. In which I round up the GOODs and BADs of the week.

Hello everybody, I'm doing a funky Friday round-up type thing because it sounds fun.

Bad things

Waking up late is my biggest problem at the moment. It makes me unactive when I do get up and it means I don't get my important stuff done. It's something I'm going to try and make better when I get back to Southampton tomorrow.

Exam revision has been getting on top of me a bit but I'll be just concentrating on past exams for a bit from now.

Good things

Easter Sunday was good times all round as a failed film day turned into an afternoon out in sunny sunny Christchurch, eating ice cream, playing golf, doing cartwheels and playing drinking games. Best Sunday I've had in a long time.

Parkour was pretty good yesterday, I think I may get into it again at some point. Maybe.

THE END

Lists

Lists are great. All the life bloggers talk about them. Friends at university recommend them. Even Google love lists.  They're simple things but nothing beats them for organising thoughts.

Possibly one of the most popular uses for lists is to set out life goals, and that's exactly what I did last weekend, after the recommendation of my Sister. Here are the instructions:

Just write. Non-stop. For at least two minutes. Even if it's a stupid idea. Even if it doesn't quite make sense, just write it. Then when you're done, put it out of sight and come back to it the next morning. You might be surprised what you put down.

I tried this and aimed to fill up a whole card. If you want to see my results you can find them on 43things (it starts at #10) and my website. And I am determined to do all of these things, somehow. Some of them will be difficult, but I will work out how to do them, then post them on this blog.

If you do this exercise it would be great if you could post your results in the comments.