These Monsters of Mine

Monsters. Again. I know, I know.
But there are just so many of them.

I guess the most relevant one right now is Inability to Revise. I have to get seriously stressed out, right up to the line, before I start being at all conscientious about revising. I've had three exams in the past week and they've all been pretty poor, so there is a chance I've failed my degree.

Really, I shouldn't care about failing the degree. But I do, because another monster of mine is Caring About Other People's Expectations. If I get a degree it will be a physics degree - but I want to go into a life and career of music. But because my family expect me to pass, I feel like I would be letting them down if I didn't. And it hurts.

So what is going to happen after the exams then? After the vacation? I have plans, albeit very rough ones.

First of all I need a job, and god knows where that's going to come from (I have never been very good at applying for jobs (I have monsters to do with my CV)). But along with that I'd love to carry on with this Live Music malarky, because it's such good fun and I've still got so much to learn. And I want to turn that into something that can support me eventually. And then who knows what?

I know the first step in sorting myself out is meeting myself where I am. I am having trouble with revising, and that's okay. There are reasons for it; perfectly good reasons. Same goes with everything else. And where I am right now is right for me - it's all about learning and making habits, changing bad patterns.

Wow, this has been a difficult post to write. But I'm feeling a bit better about things now.

Well ciao for now.

Friday Check-In

Because I totally have an e-crush on Havi Brooks. And because all the cool kids are doing it. In which I round up the GOODs and BADs of the week.

Hello everybody, I'm doing a funky Friday round-up type thing because it sounds fun.

Bad things

Waking up late is my biggest problem at the moment. It makes me unactive when I do get up and it means I don't get my important stuff done. It's something I'm going to try and make better when I get back to Southampton tomorrow.

Exam revision has been getting on top of me a bit but I'll be just concentrating on past exams for a bit from now.

Good things

Easter Sunday was good times all round as a failed film day turned into an afternoon out in sunny sunny Christchurch, eating ice cream, playing golf, doing cartwheels and playing drinking games. Best Sunday I've had in a long time.

Parkour was pretty good yesterday, I think I may get into it again at some point. Maybe.

THE END

Lists

Lists are great. All the life bloggers talk about them. Friends at university recommend them. Even Google love lists.  They're simple things but nothing beats them for organising thoughts.

Possibly one of the most popular uses for lists is to set out life goals, and that's exactly what I did last weekend, after the recommendation of my Sister. Here are the instructions:

Just write. Non-stop. For at least two minutes. Even if it's a stupid idea. Even if it doesn't quite make sense, just write it. Then when you're done, put it out of sight and come back to it the next morning. You might be surprised what you put down.

I tried this and aimed to fill up a whole card. If you want to see my results you can find them on 43things (it starts at #10) and my website. And I am determined to do all of these things, somehow. Some of them will be difficult, but I will work out how to do them, then post them on this blog.

If you do this exercise it would be great if you could post your results in the comments.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I have respect for many people, but some of the people I respect most are many of the Life Bloggers on the web. The people who have made great things of their lives, gone in new and fantastic directions, and then come back to give what they've learned to other people.

Okay so maybe they're making money from it. But they could to a million other things to make money, and instead they give back to the world.

Here are a few of my favourites:
Leo Babauta's Zen Habits
Jonathan Mead's Illuminated Mind
Havi Brooks's The Fluent Self

Try Again

GUYS. I totally failed at doing this blog!

Time to start again? I THINK SO.

Right now I have to start writing a Cee Vee so that I can feel less guilty about going out and playing with Iain.

Cool link of the now:

If anybody remembers the classic game Granny's Garden (even if you just remember that it exists), check out this tribute made by James Cliffe:

http://www.jamesweb.co.uk/grannysgarden

(Turn your sound down a bit before you click)

On Christmas Day In The Morning

So, Christmas eventually rolled around and my brother and I went for a run at about 7 in the morning. We went up St Catherine's hill and hung around a bit doing handstands until the sun came up. There are pictures if you're interested. It was quite interesting to see how many people were around at that time, and also how friendly people are on the 25th of December.

I haven't been doing much work either, although my to do list has never been smaller - I'm actually starting to eat into my Maybe/Someday list now.

And the getting up in the morning thing has been failing somewhat - especially this morning when I woke at 7:30, snoozed until 8 at which point I got up and put some clothes on... and then lay in bed for another hour because it was too damn cold. I will crack this eventually, though.

I'm starting to read an e-book by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. The book is Thriving on Less.

See you later, my beauties.

It's just the Internet

Life has been getting on top of me.

Waking early: Failure
Getting stuff done: Failure

Some good news for tomorrow hopefully!
Need to get up early for running anyway.