Flogging A Dead Horse

Movement

2009-09-08T22:54:00.003+01:00

This blog has moved. I decided to dive into wordpress and move onto my own domain.

http://www.mrkiddle.co.uk/blog/

Check it, y'all.

Miliblogging

2009-08-02T12:00:00.001+01:00

What would you say if you had to keep your blog post/email/whatever less than five sentences long?

You'd have the same resources - including time - to write a shorter body of text that would give the same impact.

What are the benefits to the reader? What would you have to do differently?

I've got some thoughts on this, but I'd like to hear yours first:- maybe add one or two to the end of this post as you're here, I'd be very grateful.

Creativity and Happiness

2009-07-30T16:24:00.003+01:00

I've mentioned before about how I think exercise is part of the bedrock to happiness, at least in my life. Another one I confirmed recently is social experience; being involved in some sort of community of people where interactions are personal and based on an often deep history of the group's dynamics. And I believe that a healthy diet is a third supporting pillar of a contented life.

The fourth area that needs some attention, it seems to me, would be creative output.

This might be in the traditional senses of art, writing, music. It may be photography, woodwork or some form of spiritual dance. Or maybe it's computer programming, scientific research or deriving mathematical theories. But it's something that gets your brain cycling through ideas and scenarios, creating new neural connections and really working out.

I look at the really contented and happy people in my life and they all seem to have some aspect of creativity going on in their hobbies or jobs.

And for those of you who are wondering, I do believe that creativity can be learned if it's practised often and enough. But you don't need to be "good" to get anything out of it, you just need to get your mind in the right gear.

Questions? Comments? Opinions? I'd love to hear them! Please leave all of your lovely feedback in the comments section below :)

Rules

2009-07-26T12:00:00.000+01:00

Sometimes there are Rules. They're sort of unwritten, unspoken Rules. And those are the worst kind because their invisibility makes them harder to bend or revoke.

For me it feels a bit like being in a spectral prison that I'm not entirely aware of, but can sense the restriction, and obey it. The guards, walls and bars are all ghosts, because they're made of the Rules. But sometimes I catch a shimmering outline; a ghostly edge that makes me stop and think.

Another way to think of it is being stuck watching a familiar and painful play put on by your life, and you can't do anything because you're just the audience.

I hadn't really thought deeply about this until last week when I read a post on Lucy's blog*. Then I started asking questions.

Because what if I'm not just the audience?
What if I knew what my captives looked like?
What if I realised I'm in The Matrix?
And what if I faced the Rules?

If I can do this, things start to change. I can start to interact with the rules. I can ask them what they are. I can ask them why they're there. And what they need. And maybe I can let some of them go.

And then I realise this is the sort of NVC-inspired stuff Havi has been talking about all along.

^{* I do realise that this isn't the way Lucy was talking about rules, I'm just taking the concept and applying it to my own life.}

Velvet Rope

2009-07-24T18:02:00.002+01:00

One of the things I fear is that my friends will see this blog and think that I'm Not Cool for writing it.

This blog is a place where I can just let my inner hippy run around naked, collecting proverbial wild berries and talking about the benefits of acupuncture. So to speak*.

Everybody has an Inner SomethingThey'reAshamedAbout, right?

If you think my blog kind of sucks then that's fine, it's probably not written for you. It's written for me and anybody else who finds it helpful in any way.

If you don't like it I hope we can still hang out on Twitter or Real Life or wherever.

I just wanted you to know.

_{* I don't actually do any of those things. It's just my poetic license.}

Patterns

2009-07-23T12:52:00.004+01:00

When I first came across The Fluent Self (surely you must know about that by now) I thought it was great, a really fresh look at changing habits and looking at life. And from reading Havi's blog I've come in contact with some fantastic things like NVC and Shiva Nata.

But I never really thought about my patterns. In fact I never really thought I had any._{(Despite posting about them twice? Yeah, I'm about as confused as you).}

But recently I've come to the realisation that, actually, probably, I have a lot. But I bury them away beneath the desert island that is my mind.

I have small patterns, and slightly larger patterns. Patterns of work, play, thought and relationships.
Patterns to do with giving up, patterns to do with self worth, this weird thing involving clicking my teeth.

What I'm really hoping for now is that on this new adventure doing the Dance of Shiva I will start to learn more about myself and my patterns. So if and when the epiphanies come I'll be sure to share!

Ok, I'll shut up now.

Tapping Magic

2009-07-20T21:52:00.008+01:00

I was meant to write this post yesterday, but it hadn't been written. Or conceived for that matter. Because I have been a little down in the dumps, not quite knowing why.

But this evening I remembered - and then I kicked myself because this isn't the first time it's happened.

You see, I am a wizard. And the source of my magic is exercise. I come back from a run and am full of zest and lust for life.

Forms of Power

Maybe your power comes from somewhere else. But I wouldn't be surprised if it was exercise or some sort of active activity. Just watch the lives of many big names and they all have some sort of regular workout going on. Let's look at a couple of my idols:

Jonathan Mead
Mr Mead, who runs Illuminated Mind, is big on his martial arts: he's a practitioner of Jeet Kune Do - an art (and philosophy) founded by none other than Bruce Lee.
I also hear he's a keen drummer, which is a big workout in itself.

Havi Brooks
Good old Havi, of The Fluent Self, follows the Dance of Shiva. Again, an activity which has a bit of a spiritual side to it. But an activity none-the-less. And she just radiates amazingness.

This is just one component of leading a happy and successful life. But to me it seems to be one of the most important.

You
So how about you? Is exercise also the source of your power, or do you have some other place you tap from? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

How Not To Do Deadlines

2009-07-16T16:00:00.000+01:00

I have a weird relationship with deadlines. And yet one I'm willing to wager a lot of people share.

Take yesterday, for example. The deadline for the SRA entry was 5pm. I've had since May (actually probably somewhat longer) to sort this out and yet it came right up to the line - and I mean literally within seconds of the deadline.

It had been on my mind for weeks, months even, but the real work didn't even start until about a few days ago. Then I worked almost solidly for two days and got in by the skin
of
my
teeth.

Oh yeah, and it's a pattern.

Sound familiar?
I hope so.

Well I was thinking about this. Why does this happen. Is it a motivation problem? Am I scared of completing it lest it unleash some horrible demon? Am I just a rubbish person? No.

The problem is that I focus on the deadline as being part of the work period; I naturally "plan" in my head to have the work done on the day it's due. Maybe I start early, but the work I do is minor and only increases to a significant amount when the final date starts to approach.

The solution is to practice disassociating the deadline from the work, and creating my own personal deadline. And stick to it. This is another one of those things that's easier said than done, I know.

But not impossible.

Any thoughts on this? Have you had similar problems that you've tried to overcome? Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this.

Untitled #2

2009-07-12T20:26:00.004+01:00

The SRA awards. Awards for student radio stations. For those of you who don't know, I spent the past two years working with Surge in Southampton.

This one last thing I'm doing for them is putting together their entry for Station of the Year award. And, as with every task or project like this for the past three years (and probably more), I have left it until the very last minute.

Patterns, eh?

Don't ask me why it's like this. It is something I really want to do. Maybe I don't want to do the hard work associated with it, maybe I'm scared of doing a bad job and letting down the station. Maybe finishing this entry signifies me cutting the last link to the best year of my life, or finishing it means I have to actually get on with job hunting (oh, the job hunting!).

And the deadline is about three days away. Looks like another issue I'm going to have to bulldoze through for now.

Another thing that's come up in all this is my inability to say "no". For some reason I've taken it upon myself to coordinate the whole of the station on the creation of individual entries for Best Show, Best DJ, etc. and am now offering help and critique to the people entering these awards. Not that I don't want to be helpful, it's just that it puts unnecessary stress onto me. Actually I have some ideas on this but it's going to take some more thinking.

Not that life is bad or anything. Just a little bit hectic. Feeling resistance that I'd rather not feel.

Elsewhere in the news

I have ordered the Shiva Nata starter kit from the lovely Havi... I'll let you know how that goes.

Don't judge.

And finally, I have been writing this post from The Bottom Of The Airing Cupboard and it has been amazingly easy to concentrate, if a little cramped.

And That's How.. For Now!

Isn't It Strange

2009-07-09T19:52:00.004+01:00

Lately my life has been feeling congested, for lack of a better word. Back from uni, living under my Dad's roof. Job hunting. Oh, the job hunting.

Hiding myself in the bottom of the airing cupboard today, cocooned in duvets and darkness with sheets of light creeping in around the door, I tried some more faux meditation.

And the answer that came to me said that I was spreading myself too thinly. Thinking about too many things at the same time. There are the SRA awards, job hunting (oh, the job hunting), starting a club, starting a website, starting a radio station, getting into journalism and/or production, and all the other little rocks that like to litter themselves around my days.

So the plan is to focus on one thing at a time, SRA entry first. Then the other stuff. And also stuff I've not even been thinking about recently:

The hundred things project
Finding my own place
Making music

And as well as that I'm starting regular blog posts to see if blog therapy gets me anywhere.

So... see you later?

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life

2009-06-10T14:59:00.003+01:00

Argh, I feel awful. And it's one of those awfuls where I don't actually know why.
Maybe I'm working myself too hard.
Maybe I'm fed up of living in this house with these people.
Probably I'm just angry at myself.

Last night there was a party at a friend's house. The housemates went and had fun (and got back at three in the morning and woke me up). I didn't go because I only knew one person who was there (my housemates didn't say they were going, I just came downstairs to find that they'd gone).
And yeah, they had loads of fun and it sounds like it was an amazing evening with juggling and poi and skating and allsorts. And what did I do? Stayed in and did "work".

And this is something I've been doing a lot, avoiding social situations so I can stay in and do work then end up not actually working. Just another pattern I have to try and break.

One of the other things I'm feeling at the moment is that I'm not really as independant as I thought, and that I depend on my housemates for too much and probably take loads of stuff they do for granded.

I don't know how I'm going to solve this situation.
Maybe I'll just take the day off.

These Monsters of Mine

2009-05-30T20:25:00.002+01:00

Monsters. Again. I know, I know.
But there are just so many of them.

I guess the most relevant one right now is Inability to Revise. I have to get seriously stressed out, right up to the line, before I start being at all conscientious about revising. I've had three exams in the past week and they've all been pretty poor, so there is a chance I've failed my degree.

Really, I shouldn't care about failing the degree. But I do, because another monster of mine is Caring About Other People's Expectations. If I get a degree it will be a physics degree - but I want to go into a life and career of music. But because my family expect me to pass, I feel like I would be letting them down if I didn't. And it hurts.

So what is going to happen after the exams then? After the vacation? I have plans, albeit very rough ones.

First of all I need a job, and god knows where that's going to come from (I have never been very good at applying for jobs (I have monsters to do with my CV)). But along with that I'd love to carry on with this Live Music malarky, because it's such good fun and I've still got so much to learn. And I want to turn that into something that can support me eventually. And then who knows what?

I know the first step in sorting myself out is meeting myself where I am. I am having trouble with revising, and that's okay. There are reasons for it; perfectly good reasons. Same goes with everything else. And where I am right now is right for me - it's all about learning and making habits, changing bad patterns.

Wow, this has been a difficult post to write. But I'm feeling a bit better about things now.

Well ciao for now.

Friday Check-In

2009-04-17T20:08:00.003+01:00

Because I totally have an e-crush on Havi Brooks. And because all the cool kids are doing it. In which I round up the GOODs and BADs of the week.

Hello everybody, I'm doing a funky Friday round-up type thing because it sounds fun.

Bad things

Waking up late is my biggest problem at the moment. It makes me unactive when I do get up and it means I don't get my important stuff done. It's something I'm going to try and make better when I get back to Southampton tomorrow.

Exam revision has been getting on top of me a bit but I'll be just concentrating on past exams for a bit from now.

Good things

Easter Sunday was good times all round as a failed film day turned into an afternoon out in sunny sunny Christchurch, eating ice cream, playing golf, doing cartwheels and playing drinking games. Best Sunday I've had in a long time.

Parkour was pretty good yesterday, I think I may get into it again at some point. Maybe.

THE END

Lists

2009-04-05T21:52:00.003+01:00

Lists are great. All the life bloggers talk about them. Friends at university recommend them. Even Google love lists. They're simple things but nothing beats them for organising thoughts.

Possibly one of the most popular uses for lists is to set out life goals, and that's exactly what I did last weekend, after the recommendation of my Sister. Here are the instructions:

Just write. Non-stop. For at least two minutes. Even if it's a stupid idea. Even if it doesn't quite make sense, just write it. Then when you're done, put it out of sight and come back to it the next morning. You might be surprised what you put down.

I tried this and aimed to fill up a whole card. If you want to see my results you can find them on 43things (it starts at #10) and my website. And I am determined to do all of these things, somehow. Some of them will be difficult, but I will work out how to do them, then post them on this blog.

If you do this exercise it would be great if you could post your results in the comments.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2009-04-01T22:52:00.003+01:00

I have respect for many people, but some of the people I respect most are many of the Life Bloggers on the web. The people who have made great things of their lives, gone in new and fantastic directions, and then come back to give what they've learned to other people.

Okay so maybe they're making money from it. But they could to a million other things to make money, and instead they give back to the world.

Here are a few of my favourites:
Leo Babauta's Zen Habits
Jonathan Mead's Illuminated Mind
Havi Brooks's The Fluent Self

Try Again

2009-03-31T13:29:00.003+01:00

GUYS. I totally failed at doing this blog!

Time to start again? I THINK SO.

Right now I have to start writing a Cee Vee so that I can feel less guilty about going out and playing with Iain.

Cool link of the now:

If anybody remembers the classic game Granny's Garden (even if you just remember that it exists), check out this tribute made by James Cliffe:

http://www.jamesweb.co.uk/grannysgarden

(Turn your sound down a bit before you click)

On Christmas Day In The Morning

2008-12-27T16:04:00.003Z

So, Christmas eventually rolled around and my brother and I went for a run at about 7 in the morning. We went up St Catherine's hill and hung around a bit doing handstands until the sun came up. There are pictures if you're interested. It was quite interesting to see how many people were around at that time, and also how friendly people are on the 25th of December.

I haven't been doing much work either, although my to do list has never been smaller - I'm actually starting to eat into my Maybe/Someday list now.

And the getting up in the morning thing has been failing somewhat - especially this morning when I woke at 7:30, snoozed until 8 at which point I got up and put some clothes on... and then lay in bed for another hour because it was too damn cold. I will crack this eventually, though.

I'm starting to read an e-book by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. The book is Thriving on Less.

See you later, my beauties.

It's just the Internet

2008-12-24T20:17:00.001Z

Life has been getting on top of me.

Waking early: Failure
Getting stuff done: Failure

Some good news for tomorrow hopefully!
Need to get up early for running anyway.

Untitled #1

2008-12-23T23:33:00.002Z

Today I ran in the morning, albeit a little later than desired.

I spent some time on the Internet, maybe a little too much time.

I spent some time buying, wrapping and delivering presents, which was good.

I also got up before sunrise. Awoke at 7:45, got up shortly after (though not immediately).

Tomorrow's goals are:

- Wake at 7:30

- Wrap family's presents

- Do some coursework

Those are the main ones, anyway.

He Stands Like A Statue, Becomes Part Of The Machine

2008-12-22T20:20:00.003Z

Adam
Adam is playing too many computer games. How can I get him to not play too many computer games? I will try to engage him in other activities such as playing cards. Though that's a bit of a lame activity, so I need to find him some sort of hobby that's actually constructive and paves way to further exploration (either in that hobby or other areas).

If I ever come up with anything... I'll let you guys know.

The Day
Today woke up at 7:45... slept in til 8:20. The morning felt really short.
Tomorrow: earlier starts.

Landmarks, Junctions, Etc.

2008-12-21T18:18:00.004Z

Adventuring
This morning was adventure time for myself and Lee.

Last night I had spied, on Google maps, what appeared to be a bridge across the River Stour. This particular bridge would be very useful if it turned out to be a safe route across the river, as many of the places I tend to go to on the other side are pretty much bang in the middle of the only other usable bridges.

So we went to investigate.

As it turns out, the bridge is heavily guarded by many fences and lots of barbed wire. Back in the day this area used to be some sort of army vehicle testing ground. Now it's used by QinetiQ for their nefarious purposes. And that would be why mere mortals may not use the bridge.

So that was a bit of a disappointment, though an educating one.

We also milled around by the car dealership and down near the railway lines just to see if there was anything interesting. Other than a secret (or at least not completely obvious) trail to a random car park there wasn't much else to do around.

So we went home.

Maths
I also managed to do some maths last night, and got a working script out at the end of my laborious session. It gives me a matrix equation... now I just need to work out how to solve it. Not as simple as I thought.

Morals

If there's a really useful bridge that you never knew about, it's probably Not For You.
Maths sucks

The Nature Of The Beast

2008-12-20T15:25:00.003Z

These gruesome winter days are so dull as to plunge me into a state of motivational comatose. Or perhaps it's the lack of interest I have in any of the work that needs to be done. Either way I'll be attempting to battle my way out of it this Christmas.

The two main things I want to focus on are:
1) Getting up early.
2) Getting work done.

Right now I'm about to crack on with some maths work... hopefully. I'll let you know how it goes.

Everything Begins

2008-12-20T15:20:00.001Z

I won't bore you with an introduction.